Thursday, March 08, 2007

Advice Needed

Tonight, I am going to meet with the couple whose marriage ceremony I will be performing the last weekend in March. Now, I'm no preacher but I do take my role in their marriage very seriously. As a married person who has gone through the troughs and peaks of a onetime tumultuous marriage, I feel qualified to offer some guidance as they start their life together. What I want is some advice from any of you who have it to offer.

I think my primary advice will be to not let problems sit around unattended. If it is serious enough to bother you, talk about it now before it festers. Better a uncomfortable discussion now than a blow-up in six months over what was, at one time, a minor issue. Everyone always says that communication is the key to a good marriage. That is partially true. You do have to implement some filter though. Much of marriage is just "getting over" things your spouse may do that bother you. Hey, if he/she did it before the marriage, did you really expect it to change? If he puts the toilet paper on the wrong way, is it really that big a deal? If she likes to step out of the shower to dry off rather than doing it in the stall, thereby getting the floor all wet, should you raise a stink? After all, the toilet paper still comes off the roll and floors eventually dry. You rarely can change others but you can always change yourself. As long as both are willing to deal with the other's foibles, everything should work out. Just don't worry about the little things that will always remain little things. Deal with the ones that will have a real impact on your life together, not the ones that you can easily deal with by acceptance.

That, and separate bathrooms.

EDIT: I jsut found this quote on IMDB from Barefoot in the Park and every wife should say this when appropriate, and it is always appropriate:

"Paul, I think I'm gonna be a lousy wife. But don't be angry with me. I love you very much - and I'm very sexy!"

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