Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Tina Fey Naked

Most mornings, I don't recall my dreams of the night before. It usually takes a trigger to make my mind remember the fiction it dreamt of a few hours ago. This morning, it was the mention of Tina Fey on the radio for some reason or another. My mind immediately recalled the dream and replayed it for my pleasure. Ms. Fey and I were in a hotel room. It was probably New York City. Maybe it was L.A. My perception was that we were not "together" in the sense that we were seeing each other on a regular romantic basis. We were together enough though, that she walked out of the bathroom in my presence naked. Buck naked. Her body was glistening but her hair was dry as though she had wrapped a towel around it while showering. Did I say buck naked? She was actually wearing her trademark frames. The better to see you with my dear. Or be seen as the case may be. In my dream, I had received a call that bore a sense of urgency. I surveyed Tina from head to toe quite appreciatively (as the appreciation was well warranted) before stepping toward her. I leaned in and said, "I have to leave for a bit, but I will be back soon," before wrapping one of my ridiculously long arms around her back, extending downward towards one of her wonderfully fleshy rear cheeks and planting a kiss square on her mouth. She arose on her tip toes and returned the pressure, both of us lingering in our goodbye. I then moved to leave. When I reached the door, I worried that one of my actions had caused offense though she had raised no protest. It had been inadvertent but there had been some firmness in the gesture. After all, I am a gorilla and she a mere waif of a woman. I turned back to face her squarely, her, shimmering in the indirect light and me, wrapped in the trappings of the non-naked world, "I didn't mean to stick my finger in your ass. I was just trying to hug you goodbye. No harm?"

"None at all," she replied. In fact, it had been mere incidental contact, brought on by the length of my arms and fingers. Like Jerry Seinfeld, scratching his nose while his super model girlfriend watched from an adjoining cab, there was no pick. It was all exterior contact. Before I left the room though, I wanted to make sure we were on the same page. I wanted my return to the room to be welcome. As I said, she was buck naked, and I was appreciative.


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Drizztdj said...

Ok, I can't give you astrological reports but I can give you a "oh my" and wonder what Ms. Fey is hiding now.

muhctim said...

ok, so does this mean you got the part on 30 rock???