Saturday, July 21, 2007

We're not Men-so sayeth Costanza

1:00 p.m.

Sometimes, when your man sense is down, and you haven't been out in the woods for a while, and you feel as though you are being selfish around your kids as you are pouting like a teenager, and your whole world just seems a little off, you decide to get back to your nature, fire up the smoker, fix a cool drink, and live blog a Saturday.

Then you realize that just made it the gheyest thing you've ever thought of.


Rodney Crowell tells a story about when he and Rosanne Cash were living together. Not married, you see, just living together. They went to visit Johnny at his house in Jamaica and Rodney lubed up on the flight, building up the courage to tell Johnny he and Rosanne were going to stay in the same room on their visit. When they arrived, Rodney told Johnny what the deal was going to be. Johnny gave him a stare for a moment, and then, "Son, I don't know you well enough to miss you if you were gone." Thinking on the fly and exercising good judgment, Rodney replied, "Where are you going to have me stay, Mr. Cash?"

I would bet that line will issue forth from me one day. Oh yeah, I plan on dressing all in black when my children reach dating ages.

Anyway, the smoker is going and the drink is flowing. This is the second time I have used the device and hope to get the hang of soon. Last week, I used bagged mesquite for country style pork ribs and it came out alright. A little dry, but I had the heat too high I reckon. This week it is a pork butt and I am using some cherry wood we cut over the winter from my Mother's. I'll keep ya updated. C'mon over if you are in the area.

2:35 p.m.

Alright, we are at 109F internal temperature looking to go in the 165 range. I let the fire get a little too hot and hope there was no irreparable damage. I plan on letting it go for another hour or so and then wrapping it to seal in the juice and keep it from drying. I've been told a piece of meat can only absorb so much smoke flavor and anything past a few hours is pointless. I'm guessing it will reach the appropriate temperature about 6 p.m. I need to get some fresh corn before then to grill to go along with it.

While you were gone, I took a beer inventory. Now, I'm a beer snob in the sense that I will drink, and enjoy, almost any type of beer. That being said, I will drink and enjoy a light macro-brew as well. Now, do I have a sophisticated palate or just a dull one? I will sometimes offer a bartender $10 if they'll bring me a surprise beer that I have never had before. I rarely lose that bet. The Flying Saucer has a fire sale beer every night where they take one and sell it for two bucks. Occasionally, it is a grab bag beer where the bartender reaches into a big tub and you get whatever she happens to pull out. There are only two beers in the world I know of I would ask them to put back if pulled and I don't think the Saucer serves either, so I'm safe there.

Anyway, this is what I have available today:
Bass Ale (Pub Pour)
Abita Amber
Saranac (picked up a Summer variety pack last week)
-Golden Pilsner
-Belgian White
-Pomegranate Wheat
Coors Light
Bud Light
Miller High Life
Dos XX
Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
Yuengling Traditional Lager
Wasatch Polygamy Porter
Boulevard Brewing Co. Pale Ale
Lagunitas Pale Ale
Guiness Stout
Miller Lite
Green King IPA
trois pistoles

Some of these are still hanging around from our cross-country drive. I tried to pick up unfamiliar beers as I came across them. On the trip, every state had some good beer with California leading the way based on my very limited sample. The best beer state I know of is Vermont. Those damn, dirty hippies know how to make fantastic sandwiches and beer. Unfortunately, it appears you can't buy it anywhere but Vermont.

Some of that list was bought by others and brought to the Tuesday night game. There is only one beer on that list I will not drink. A t-shirt to the first that can identify it.

3:03 p.m.

Somone just reached my site using the following search on google:

"pointless waste of time + pirates life for me"

I was #1. Rock!

5:00 p.m

156F and still juicy looking. No sauce and no basting. Just a dry rub and low heat. To me, that is BBQ. Sauce is great but it doesn't determine what is BBQ. I like a wide variety of sauces; from the Orangeburg sweet, to the eastern North Carolina vinegar, to the thin, red sauce I got at Cooper's in Junction, Texas. The key is to cook a good meat correctly, whether it be the hams that most of our local places smoke, then shred, the big chunks of beef brisket they slow cook in Tejas, or the whole hog we let sit over low coals for 24 hours in our backyards. Sauce can only add to the experience. I am going to use one from Oklahoma Joe's on tonight's repast. If you are ever in Kansas City, Kansas, I would reccomend you stop by for their ribs. They have a "carolina style" pork sandwhich on the menu that doesn't remind me of anything I've ever had here, but it is plenty good.

6:30 p.m.


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