Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Tease

Focus IV is coming soon if anyone is waiting. It will deal with knowing when to back off play due to outside events.

The Brad-O-Ween festivities look to be chock-full of bloggers coming to our little State for sweet tea and hush puppies. I have even been shut out of the Friday Night poker tourney due to the influx of out-of-staters. I'll have to show up early and try to steal a seat.

Almost everybody on the old blog roll has been writing fantastic stuff. Thanks for helping me through the last two weeks of poker (not quite) abstinence. Anyone got any guidelines for dropping inactive blogs from your roll. I have a couple who have not posted in a month of Sundays but I hate to drop them without at least asking what's going on. I worry. Sue me.

All of you coming into the state for the first time:

Get some boiled peanuts. If you want to sound hip, ask for "balled" peanuts. They'll know what you mean. Make sure to get "new crop," and if they say they don't have them, stomp out in a fit with a "well, I never."

Drive the Cherokee Foothill Scenic Highway. We don't have big mountains but they sure are pretty.

Feel free to yell, "How bout them Cocks?!!!!!" at every opportunity. You won't be arrested for vulgarity. If you find yourself in a crowd, yell out "GAME." There will be a response of "Cocks."

Don't talk footabll with anyone except for Furman and Wofford fans. They are the only ones who have the right o brag about their teams right now. Carolina and Clemson fans will only talk about how bad the other is.

If you are going to eat grits, load them down with butter and salt. Milk and sugar go on Cream of Wheat, not grits. Every restaurant worth its name has shrimp and grits on the dinner menu and fish and grits on its breakfast menu. Order both.

You can not buy beer on Sunday in the store except in a few counties. If you want to drink on Sunday, stock up, or plan on heading out to a bar.

Drive to Charleston and then down the coast towards Beaufort. There is no prettier place.


There are a few DUI traps in Greenville County. Don't drink too much and then drive. I will be much too drunk to defend you.

It's going to be hot and humid. Keep a cool towel handy.

This is going to be fun.

6 comments:

BadBlood said...

Odds are good, VERY good, that if you show, there will be a seat for you. ;)

Gamecock said...

Damn, that guide is dead on. Painfully so in regards to football, All hail Emperor Spurrier!

TripJax said...

If you end up getting any advice for cleaning up the blogroll, please send it my way. I have a similar problem. I don't know how Iggy keeps up...

Anonymous said...

If you are alone, call this number 800-211-9293. Connect with Real Singles from your local area instantly for only $0.99/min with a $4.99 connection fee. A true Match is only one phone call away 800-211-9293. Meet people with common interests and desires now. Check it out. 800-211-9293

Easycure said...

that he's very, very jealous.

BigPirate said...

So I called the 1-800 number left in comment 4 looking for a true match. I gave them all my interests and predelictions hoping for a hot number to make me sweat.

They sent over a gorgeous brunette AND redhead. Both were dressed in body-hugging silk, carying six-packs of imported beer, one with a bucket of Zesto's chicken, and one with a pint each of rice and hash.

"Wanna play?" they asked in a most seductive manner.

"S-S-S-S-Sure," I stammered.

They asked where the kitchen was and I got excited with visions of two of my favorite activities likely occuring in a few moments. The redhead swept the table clean of salt and pepper, napkin holder, and three days worth of mail. She whipped out a red velvet cape and draped it across the table.

"You ready?" she asked.

"Damn skippy," I said with my recovered assurance.

"Great. The game is No Limit Hold 'em. $5000.00 freezeout. You can cry "Uncle" at any time, but, if you do, we will photoshop and post pics of you with drumsticks coming out of some very unattractive places. Shuffle up and deal."

Now I am out the 5k and the $46.97 for the phone call.