A bloginning

Fifty -Six $10.00 sit-and-gos at Party Poker and a $6.00 net loss. Twenty limit ($10.00) and 36 no-limit (-$16.00) tournaments and I'm almost exactly where I started. I average about 4.5 in placing in both types of tournies. I'm guessing I am not aggressive enough early in atempting to build chips as I get caught near the end having to go all-in a good bit to protect my small stack. I did place in the money in the latest bogger tourney which was nice. PokerStars has been a small part of my play since then. I tried a lot of 1-2 limit with my blogger tourney winnings with fluctuations from $120.00 to $23.00. I won a two table $6.00 turbo n/l and a 1 table $6.00 to bump me back up a little. UB has been a lost cause as I have been trying to earn my deposit bonus a penny at a time it seems. TruePoker has been my salvation with a great October but with the recent changes, I 've had a hard time tracking down a profitable game.
Profit? Oh, there's no profit for me. I'm down online. The Tuesday night home game has been great for me but it doesn't make up for my online play. I suffer from the keybord/money disconenct. It can't be real. It's just a video game, except it' a lot more than a quarter. Heck, even video games aren't a quarter anymore are they? Oh, my kids are going to get tired of hearing me tell them how I spent hours playing Pinbot for a couple of bucks while they're begging for bills for a two minute shoot em up.
Poker Tracker has been an eye opener I hope it tightens up my game. I'd hate to have to quit because I can't afford to play. I explained it to my wife the other night. I play because it completely occupies my mind. I don't worry about a thing while I'm playing. It's the focus I used to have while playing football. The kind I could never achieve with baseball or basketball even though I loved both sports. Golf is useless as a relaxtion tool for me. If my life is calm, golf is great. If I got problems, my games got problems (apart from my skill level). Poker gives me a break from worry and it has not become a worry. Balance. Precarious balance.